Just One Thing (22 October 2025)

Oct. 22nd, 2025 09:26 am
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[personal profile] nanila posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished! Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!
[syndicated profile] smartbitches_feed

Posted by Carrie S

C-

A Lady Would Know Better

by Emma Theriault
January 28, 2025 · Entangled: Amara
Historical: EuropeanRomance

I rather enjoyed the last third of A Lady Would Know Better. Granted, I read that last third of it at about 2AM while trapped in the bathroom (health problems) and while substantially hopped up on prescription painkillers (use only under care of a physician please; the opioid crisis is real). Is it a coincidence that this was the part I most enjoyed? I think not.

The rest of the story suffered due to heroic doltishness, a heroine who turns into a plot device, a romance plagued by insta-lust, two protagonists who are Too Stupid To Live, a plot that didn’t make much sense, and an inconsistency of tone that takes a sharp turn in the last third – which is when I started enjoying it.

Show Spoiler

Alexis from Schitt's Creek gleefully waves her hands in front of her laptop

So here’s the deal. Jasper, the Earl of Belhaven, is mourning his parents, his wife, and his brother-in-law, all of whom died within the last few years. One snowy day he finds a woman unconscious in the snow. He and his sisters nurse her back to health, but she has, wait for it…

AMNESIA!

Sorry, I have made a personal vow to type that word in that way whenever I find myself forced to use it.

The family calls the woman “Jane” and she befriends them all with her kind and charming ways. But Jasper wonders if maybe she’s trying to swindle him, or whether she’s in danger – after all, as she lay fainting gracefully in the snow, she said, “Don’t let them get me.”  Jasper chooses not to share this little phrase with Jane or anyone in his family because Jasper is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Jasper can’t stop smouldering in Jane’s direction and doing things like spending the night watching over her unchaperoned in her bedroom (!?!?!?!?!) and carrying her up stairs. But alas Jasper is mourning and has vowed never to love again. Oh no, what will come of this?

Jane is charming and, dare I use the word – feisty.

 

She instantly becomes friends with Jasper’s sisters who keep loaning her clothes that don’t require hemming even though they are all taller than her. They just magically fit. They are also perfectly flattering, because this is a romance novel, and I’ll be honest, I like a bit of fashion porn just as much as the next person.

Jane is supposed to be intelligent (after all, she reads Jane Austen) but she considers running off into Snow Storm II to be a mark of independence and self-respect and self-sacrifice when it’s actually just very stupid. She is wildly attracted to Jasper and they spend a lot of time lusting after one another while saying, “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly.”

Show Spoiler

Moira from Schitt's Creek shakes her head while holding a tea cup

This book falls into a specific kind of historical romance.

There are historicals that make some kind of effort to be precise representations of the time, with or without the trimmings of fashion and popular culture.

Then there are historical romances in which, although magic is not actually a thing, a unicorn could prance through a room and fit right in. I rather enjoy both kinds of historicals, but I always like to know which kind I’m getting into.

There’s no particular basis in reality in this book, aside from some specific timely references, which is fine as long as you know that going in. Everyone uses first names. The characters mention the need for a chaperone and proceed to ignore it. They defy common sense and caution at every opportunity. The Earl is very good to his tenants – see, feudalism is fine! Don’t worry about it!

Show Spoiler

Miss Piggy dressed up for Muppet Christmas Carol says "Whatever"

Astute readers will catch on to the subtle nods to Jane Austen. I’m kidding:  I’ve seen literal car crashes that had more subtlety than the references here.

Now I did start off saying that I rather enjoyed the novel, and here’s why. I loved Isobel, one of Jasper’s sisters, especially when she sparred verbally with her older Aunt.

But mostly, I got into the novel somewhere around the last third or so, when 2 things happened:

  1. The painkiller I took kicked in, giving everything under my purview a certain glowing charm (do not take without consulting a physician).
  2. The novel finally went full gothic.

In my not even remotely humble opinion, a book containing AMNESIA! is probably doomed if I am the reader, but it has some chance of success if it goes all-out unhinged gothic.  The book knows that AMNESIA! is ridiculous and must perforce match the AMNESIA! with the most messy plot imaginable. For most of the book, the tone is painfully earnest.

However, if you hang in there until the drugs take hold the last third, you will be treated to the kind of bonkers stuff that I should have had all along, like kidnapping and a gloomy old mansion and scheming relatives who plot.. The gothic over-the-topness of the final events allowed me to just let go and enjoy the ride. It’s ridiculous. It’s fine.

Show Spoiler

In a black and white scene, a woman dressed in a black gown faints very gracefully.

I can’t recommend this as a good book, but it might be a good comfort read for people wanting something lighter than air. Anything that can sustain me when feeling both slightly high and very miserable gets some points from me. All of the characters want so badly to be Good, and in a world full of cynicism that’s nice to see.

Stuff We Like: Household Staples

Oct. 22nd, 2025 05:01 am
[syndicated profile] smartbitches_feed

Posted by Amanda

It’s time for another edition of Stuff We Like!

This month: Amanda’s favorites from her first year of home ownership.

Take a look:

Want to see? Just click that image above or click right here, and come shop with us!

And if you’d like to browse some more, we have a complete Stuff We Like archive, including past Gift Guides and other posts of our favorite items.

Mad Science

Oct. 22nd, 2025 12:27 am
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Scientists say dimming the sun could spark global chaos

Researchers warn that real-world solar geoengineering would be far more unpredictable and risky than models suggest.

Scientists are taking the once-radical concept of dimming the sun through stratospheric aerosol injection (SAI) seriously, but a Columbia University team warns that reality is far messier than models suggest. Their study reveals how physical, geopolitical, and economic constraints could derail even the best-intentioned attempts to cool the planet. From unpredictable monsoon disruptions to material shortages and optical inefficiencies, every step introduces new risks.


WARNING: Do not practice mad science on whole planet!

Cuddle Party

Oct. 22nd, 2025 12:08 am
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Everyone needs contact comfort sometimes. Not everyone has ample opportunities for this in facetime. So here is a chance for a cuddle party in cyberspace. Virtual cuddling can help people feel better.

We have a
cuddle room that comes with fort cushions, fort frames, sheets for draping, and a weighted blanket. A nest full of colorful egg pillows sits in one corner. There is a basket of grooming brushes, hairbrushes, and styling combs. A bin holds textured pillows. There is a big basket of craft supplies along with art markers, coloring pages, and blank paper. The kitchen has a popcorn machine. Labels are available to mark dietary needs, recipe ingredients, and level of spiciness. Here is the bathroom, open to everyone. There is a lawn tent and an outdoor hot tub. Bathers should post a sign for nude or clothed activity. Come snuggle up!


Enjoy a feast for Halloween, Samhain, All Saints Day, Dia de los Muertos, or whatever you prefer...

Read more... )
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Posted by Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. How much should I expect to hang out with my coworker on a week-long work trip?

I have an upcoming work trip that I’m feeling a little anxious about, mostly because I’m unsure how to handle the social side of things.

It’s a week-long trip with just one coworker. They seem lovely, but we haven’t worked closely together before. I’ve traveled with larger groups in the past, and in those situations the unspoken norm seemed to be: do dinner together at least once or twice, and apart from that, it’s okay to stay in or go out on your own if you prefer. After all, there are others in the group they can spend time with if they’d like.

With just the two of us, though, I feel more responsible for their experience, and I’m not sure what’s expected. Should I plan for us to spend afternoons and dinners together every day, or is it okay to build in some solo time? I want this to be a positive experience for both of us, but as someone who’s neurodivergent, it’s hard for me to read the social cues. What’s the typical etiquette for a trip like this?

Dinner once or twice during the week but doing your own thing the rest of the time is a pretty typical way to handle it, even when it’s just two of you. You can set those expectations early on in a warm way by saying something on the first day like, “Do you want to do dinner together one night this week while we’re here?” That way you’re offering it! You’re being warm and friendly. But you’re also setting the expectation that it won’t be every night.

Related:
can I do my own thing in the evenings on a business trip with colleagues?

2. How do I deal with my boss’s email overload?

I work at a company that is very email-heavy, which means that we get a lot of emails and we are expected to read and respond relatively quickly. The problem is that my boss, who is a senior leader, is so inundated with emails that he regularly misses things (I would say he misses a quarter to a third of things I forward him, and at least one-third of external emails that we’re both on from new senders).

Right now, my strategy if I need a quick response is to use our chat tool to follow up. Half the time, he’ll say he didn’t see the email and I’ll need to forward it so it’s at the top of his inbox. But if it’s, for example, an email that we’ve set up a meeting to discuss, often I’ll start the meeting and realize he hasn’t read the email, and then we’ll lose 10–15 minutes while I find the thread, send it, and wait for him to receive and then read it.

It feels like there has to be a better way, and he knows this is an issue and I think would be happy to hear strategies. But I think the strategies I use (a custom priority inbox and judicious use of filters) won’t work for him, because it took me time to set it up when I started, and I do have more time in my day to keep on top of emails. Do you have any other suggestions? Or do I just accept this is how it is, and keep using strategies to work around it?

Accept that this is how he is and be proactive about working around it. That means things like assuming that there’s a good chance he won’t see emails until you specifically follow up on them, assuming he won’t have read emails before meetings (unless you chat him and specifically ask him to, which is worth trying when it’s important), using good email “hygiene” (i.e., keeping messages as short as possible and with the upshot/action needed right up top) and communicating with him in ways that aren’t email as much as possible. For example, can you save some of these items up for regular check-in meetings and not bother emailing about them at all?

That might not be ideal, but if he’s going to miss them anyway, your life will be easier if you plan for it to happen.

Related:
my boss hardly reads emails and says it’s my job to follow up with her when something’s important
my boss is impossible to reach when I need responses
my boss won’t answer my emails

3. My coworker said I look like JD Vance

I work for government, and it is obviously a professional environment. As such, comments on appearance are very rare though people will give well intentioned compliments on new haircuts, clothing etc.

Today in front of others out of nowhere, a colleague got excited and said that I look like JD Vance. I am around the same age and am a white guy with facial hair so there is some similarity but it was kind of weird and was definitely awkward with others around and with the current political environment.

Is this comment appropriate in office or am I just overreacting because I detest JD Vance and find the comparison unflattering? Also, the colleague who made the comment seemed to not think commenting on appearance that way was strange — should I try to correct them? At the time I was baffled so didn’t say much.

Eh, it’s the kind of thing that sometimes gets said. Appearance assessments shouldn’t be made at work (and if your coworker had written in asking if he should tell you that you look like JD Vance, I would have told him not to), but I don’t think it’s so egregious that you need to go back and say something about it now. (However, if you had wanted to indicate you were displeased in the moment, you could have said, “I promise you we’re quite different.”)

If he continues to harp on it, then yes, at that point you should ask him to give it a rest, but hopefully it’s not going to keep coming up.

4. We’re asked to chip in for gift cards for departing executives

I have a question about a new practice at my org (a mid-size scale-up with 500-1000 employees). Recently, several VP/C-suite executives have left, and it’s become standard to send a virtual card for all staff to sign and a virtual gift card for optional donations. The latest card had a follow-up urging everyone to sign by tomorrow, which I didn’t do on the basis I’d never met her.

There’s no guidance (other than calling it optional) on who should be gifting, but it bothers me that high-earning executives are receiving crowd-sourced gift cards. I wouldn’t be against the company seeing them off with a gift — these people have generally made an impact. Instead they’re getting around £200-£400 in donations from people almost exclusively below them. Typically, low-level employees have a gift card that has gone out to those they’ve worked with, not the entire organization.

Am I wrong to feel uncomfortable about this? Most people don’t seem to want to gift, as there are usually only about 25 donations. Isn’t it strange to ask? I want to mention it to my manager but it feels a little petty.

It’s not petty at all. It’s gross to ask lower-level employees to chip in for a goodbye gift to high-level, better paid executives (especially ones they haven’t even met, but it’s gross either way). It sounds like most of your coworkers agree, based on the low number of donations.

If the company wants to send off departing executives with a gift, they can pay for it themselves.

Whether or not it makes sense to mention to your manager depends on what your manager is like, your relationship with her, and your sense of how much capital it would take to raise it … but at a minimum you and your coworkers should feel very free to ignore these requests. If enough of you do that, hopefully whoever is organizing these will get the message.

Related:
my office wants us to chip in to send our CEO’s family on a ski trip

5. Managing my energy on days with a later start time

I work in healthcare, and my field is known for its stress levels and physical intensity. Most of my career has been spent in a consistent 8-5 schedule. However, my new job involves some days of a later start and end time, like occasional 1-8 pm days. I’ve found that I’m really used to starting my work day with a “full tank” of energy and focus at 8 am, and I’m struggling to manage my energy and focus on my 1 pm start days. I feel like my energy is peaking before I even go in to work! It’s really tough knowing that the intensity of the work day is still to come. It spikes my anxiety, and I am having trouble making that time before 1:00 either relaxing or productive, and I am also struggling to maintain all the way until 8:00.

I’d love any thoughts or ideas and how to manage this, and commiseration is welcome as well!

Let’s throw this out to readers!

The post socializing on a week-long work trip, boss’s email overload, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

NaNoWriMo

Oct. 21st, 2025 10:50 pm
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Here's a list of NaNoWriMo replacements.  These are good options if you're fed up with the old NaNoWriMo.  However, plenty of people are still doing that, so if you have enjoyed it, you can just keep writing a novel in November.

Looking for other activities?  [community profile] goals_on_dw has lists of Writing and Art activities that include November options.

Today's Adventures

Oct. 21st, 2025 10:20 pm
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
We went up to Champaign today.

Read more... )

E is 20 and one day now!

Oct. 21st, 2025 10:24 pm
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[personal profile] conuly
It's wrong and bad and wrong and I don't like it. She was little just yesterday! Now she is not little, and her sibling is even less little, and I just don't understand how that happened.

Happy birthday to her, I guess.
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[personal profile] gingicat posting in [community profile] thisfinecrew
Just attended the livestream - recording can be viewed here:
https://www.youtube.com/live/4v2p3NwsMg0

Lots of talking and encouragement, also a lot of stories and photos from Saturday. On the livestream:
Moderator: Ashlee-Woodard Henderson (activist)
Speakers: Ezra Levin (co-executive director of Indivisible), Hunter Dunn (LA Host, National Press Coordinator 50501), Lisa Gilbert (co-executive director, Public Citizen), Maribel Hernández-Rivera (National Director of Immigrant Community Strategies), Jiggy Geronimo (Narrative Strategist)

Final message: find your local community.

Resources linked:
- https://brandfolder.com/indivisibleproject/no-kings-know-your-rights (cards to print and distribute in English, Vietnamese, Traditional Chinese, Tagalog, Simplified Chinese, Korean, Haitian Creole, French, and Arabic)
- Text SHUTDOWN to 30403 to get a script from the Working Families Party to leave a message with your Senator to encourage them to hold the line during the shutdown and keep fighting against Trump's health care cuts and price increases, followed by them calling you to connect.
- There's also a QR code in the video to connect you to the Stop the Healthcare Heist! Week of Action.
[syndicated profile] snopes_feed

Posted by Laerke Christensen

Both presidents brokered deals that resulted in Hamas releasing people it took captive during the Oct. 7, 2023, attack on Israel.

IT'S OUR DAY!!!

Oct. 22nd, 2025 03:06 am
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[personal profile] pauamma posting in [community profile] capslock_dreamwidth
TODAY* IS INTERNATIONAL CAPSLOCKS DAY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO CELEBRATE?

* GEOGRAPHICAL RESTRICTIONS APPLY.

Daily Check-in

Oct. 21st, 2025 06:20 pm
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[personal profile] starwatcher posting in [community profile] fandom_checkin
 
This is your check-in post for today. The poll will be open from midnight Universal or Zulu Time (8pm Eastern Time) on Tuesday, October 21, to midnight on Wednesday, October 22. (8pm Eastern Time).

Poll #33750 Daily Check-in
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 18

How are you doing?

I am OK.
11 (61.1%)

I am not OK, but don't need help right now.
7 (38.9%)

I could use some help.
0 (0.0%)

How many other humans live with you?

I am living single.
6 (33.3%)

One other person.
9 (50.0%)

More than one other person.
3 (16.7%)




Please, talk about how things are going for you in the comments, ask for advice or help if you need it, or just discuss whatever you feel like.
 
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[personal profile] lightreads
Being Mortal

5/5. Discussion by a surgeon about how poorly we often handle mortality – care for the elderly in general, and death for both the old and young.

Excellent. I’ve had this book on my radar for over a decade, but the last time I went to pick it up, I found out literally the next day that my father was terminally ill, and I noped out. He lived another eleven months, which was about five months longer than he was expected to, but it’s taken me nearly eight years to come back to this book. I’m very glad I did, though this is depressing and infuriating and did make me cry.

It is also incredibly useful. There is an aging person in my life whom it is likely my wife and I will need to provide care for when it is needed, and this book was incredibly grounding on what that might look like, and in supplying an ethical framework to think about it. It would be oversimplifying to say that the book argues for privileging autonomy over safety, because there’s more to it than that, but the points it makes about how so many elderly care facilities are designed for the psychological comfort of the residents’ families at the expense of the residents’ comfort and happiness is sobering.

Also notable for some candid and messy examinations of how doctors do and don’t approach mortality with patients. There are no easy answers there, as patient need will vary widely. Some need to hear it to be prepared. Some don’t ever want to hear it. But he offers up some really good advice on frameworks for decisionmaking in life or death situations that can, if done right, make things vastly easier for the family making hard calls.

Highly recommended.

Content notes: Terminal illness, death of a parent, medical gaslighting

Babylon 5 fic: Dedicated

Oct. 22nd, 2025 12:03 am
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[personal profile] sholio
More B5 fic! This is one that I wrote some time ago, but haven't posted mostly because I was completely stuck for a title, until the right one fell into my lap. (I'm honestly delighted with how the titles for this little series have been working out; they're coming out so nicely multi-layered.)

Dedicated (1600 wds, gen, mostly G'Kar)

This is a follow-up to Devotional, the one I wrote a while back in which Londo reads G'Kar's book, post-canon. When I wrote that, I liked the idea that G'kar at some point gets a chance to read Londo's annotations in his book ... so that's what this is.

(no subject)

Oct. 21st, 2025 04:00 pm
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[personal profile] lycomingst
It's Autumn, right? Well, I have an important question. WHERE are the persimmons? I mean, where!

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