"If Christmas was a Jewish Holiday"

[sraun]

courtesy of patgund

"If Christmas was a Jewish Holiday"

Here's their disclaimer -

Please note: We hope that our readers understand that as a religious holiday, Christmas is totally incompatible with Judaism, and the very thought of it being a Jewish holiday is ludicrous. Therefore, we have avoided all references to the religious aspects of the holiday, and tried to focus only on those aspects which have pervaded American culture. Our intention has been to provide a good-natured, humorous parody, to use those cultural aspects of Christmas to illustrate some of the methodology and details of Jewish law. It is a very fine line we are treading, but we hope that we have insulted neither the Torah, nor our Christian friends.

Go. Read. Laugh!

Comments

[ailsaek.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting that. I laughed until I choked.

There are four types of children who ask questions on Xmas: the wise one, the bad one, the simple one, and the one who does not know to ask.
- What does the wise one ask? I don't know; I couldn't understand him either. Him you must send to a school for gifted children.
- What does the bad one ask? He says, "What is this holiday to you?" Because he excludes himself from the community, you must exclude him from your table, and he will go back to his employer and get paid double-time and a half for working on Xmas day.
- What does the simple one ask? He simply asks, "What is this?" You will say to him, "This is dinner."
- As for the one who does not know to ask, you must go to his room, wake him up and say, "Next year, come to dinner on time!"

Bwahahahahahahahaha! *snort*

[allyra.livejournal.com]

There are some who begin preparing for Xmas as early as Halloween. This is wrong, and they will be called upon to account for their evil ways.

Yes! Yeesssssssss!!!!! *cackle*